Oct 14, 2011

It came from the bottom of the deck

Well, nothing seems to be clicking for my presumptive winner of the Republican Tea Party primaries, Rick Perry. It all started when I declared him our 45th president, but this is not about me. Poll after poll, debate after fumbled debate, Perry is racing to the bottom of the sewer with the other True Christist in the field, Minnesota Palin.

He already played the Mormon card, and since no one has actually cast a ballot yet, the polls are holding for Mittney. In fact so well for him, and conversely so poorly for Perry that a black man is siphoning off his supporters. Mittney is staying afloat rather well.

Imagine that, Herb Cain is actually leading the polls with his Sim City inspired 9-9-9 pizza deal! The same Herb Cain, who is black, supported the Fed that Perry and the Tea Party oppose, is black, does not want to repeal the DADT repeal, is black, and one who won't end the wars, is ahead of Perry.

Herb Cain also happens to be black.

Here he was, all but anointed King, but Perry finds himself in a deep hole, especially with the primaries moving up.

Would he lead from the front like a commander-in-chief-not-a-debater-in-chief does?

Would he offer his own economic plan?

Wait, what would MacGuyer do?

None of the above. It seems Perry is sticking to his guns.

Which is a metaphor for nailing himself to the cross.

Which is a metaphor for playing the persecuted victim card.

A tearful Anita Perry said Thursday that she and her husband had been "brutalized" by fellow Republicans and the media and the Texas first lady suggested the attacks were linked to his Christian faith. 
Anita Perry said that God had called her husband to run for president and likened the decision to encountering "a burning bush." She said that God was testing him with his current difficulties.
Anita Perry in What Would Helen Mirren Do?
(Courtesy of Murdo Macleod for the Guardian)
We have been brutalized and beaten up and chewed up in the press to where I need this today. We still feel called. We are being brutalized by our opponents, and our own party. So much of that is, I think they look at him, because of his faith. He is the only true conservative -- well, there are some true conservatives. And they're there for good reasons. And they may feel like God called them, too. But I truly feel like we are here for that purpose.
It all makes sense now. The media and fellow Republicans are crucifying Jesus Perry for being too Christian. And God is playing games by calling on more wingnuts sheeple than just Perry, so that ain't right either. Maybe he is pissed at Perry for putting that additional pressure of dealing with those damn droughts and fires. Made him appear non-existent.

But in case you are wondering, this will actually help Perry. And I won't be too surprised if the recently rendered irrelevant SheJesus of Wasilla comes out and endorses him. If it still doesn't halt the free fall, I suppose he could up the ante a little bit and just call Herb Cain what the Republican Tea Party only thinks of calling Obama and Cain, at the next debate.

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