Oct 23, 2011

Move over Pascal, I have a better wager

It is better to believe in levitation than gravity.

We all know that Newton's theory of gravity keeps us firmly on earth because of the enormous mass of Earth compared to ours.

But it is only a theory.

I'll demonstrate that it is best not to believe in it, and while I'll not present all the arguments, I'll state the most compelling ones; they ought to be enough for people with a dose of common sense:
  1. Newton's theory of gravitation was replaced by Einstein's because it was dead wrong in the calculated orbit of a celestial body. So we have proven that theories can be dead wrong, and therefore Einstein's theory can be assumed to be dead wrong as well. 
  2. Gravity is bad for us. The pot belly hangs, the boobs sag, and heavy jeans have been known to reveal an unsightly crack. Most of us who cannot resist the croissants, the bucket o' lard that you get in convenient sizes at Costco, nine dollar burgers for three dollars, and the diet sodas at your local 7-11, know this. The greater the mass, the greater the force of gravity (LOL, yeah, right!), and consequently the greater the pain on your joints. 
  3. Levitation is good for you. If you could just believe in levitation, and get away from gravity, then you could travel from one place to another without any pain in your joints. You'll also not need vehicles that run on fossil fuel, no rush hour traffic, no pollution, in other words it is good for the environment. You'll be faster too, because the friction of air is far less than that of Earth. 
  4. The only reason you do not levitate is because you do not believe that you can. Think about it. Birds can levitate, so we know it is possible, and they have a smaller brain than you. Are you going to let a bird-brained bird out-brain you? 
  5. What's the worst that happens if you find out that you cannot levitate? Nothing. You are no worse than you are currently, stuck to the ground. In disbelief. But if levitation is true and there is evidence all around us that it is since birds can and do levitate, you'd be gaining the ability to not just save your joints, but actually Earth's environment. 
So, stop believing in gravity, and believe in levitation instead. If your belief is true, you'll levitate.

Besides, what have you got to lose?

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